Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

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I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

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I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I can count

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

How do I maintain and care for granite countertops in a coastal climate like Pompano Beach?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have a reading level above third grade

How is bestiality wrong, but killing animals for sport or trophies is considered okay?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

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I see through liars

I can read

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

How did Nickelback gain a large fan base despite criticism of their music?

I have complete contempt for fakery

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t cotton to rapists

Is Veuve Clicquot Brut a good champagne?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why can't I lose weight?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

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If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What happens if someone fills up their car at the pump but leaves without paying? How is this situation typically handled?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Why do many Hong Kong Chinese look different from the Han Chinese in mainland China?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Why am I always so tired and I don't eat enough?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What is your age now, and what age do you prefer to stay at forever?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What does it mean when someone is pretending to be me?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee